Let’s cut to the chase: Of course they tried to keep me.
And it sounds much more dramatic than it really was.
In very early January my friend and I went to a manifestation workshop in Wethersfield. (I’m just a little woo-woo. I’ve got one foot in the woo-woo world, and one foot in my reality where I’m just trying to survive.)
We were beckoned to start the year off by writing down our intentions for the new year. In case you’ve never manifested before, here’s how it works: You speak into the universe the life you want to attract. There is no wishing here.
Dear Universe, I am successful. Unlimited income is within my reach. I attract positivity.
On a Sunday just after the New Year, a room full of women who barely knew each other sat down and shared the kinds of things most of us kept in our closest circles.
Some of them were battling illnesses. Major life changes like divorce and retirement and empty nests. Job loss.
I was battling a Tale of Two Contracts.
It felt so trivial, but the thing is, those contracts hung over me like a dark cloud.
But the other women were so gracious. They listened intently and gave great advice. The kind of advice you will only get when like-minded women come together for support. They also asked phenomenal questions.
Here’s what a lot of people don’t understand about working in TV news: We work on employment contracts that benefit the employer far more than they benefit the worker. When you begin employment as an on-air talent, you sign a contract with the station owner. It’s usually a two-year deal (or a sentence, depending on who you ask and when)… or sometimes a three or four-year deal.
You are contractually obligated to complete those years with the company…… or else.
‘Or else’ could mean everything from nothing to a buyout (to break your contract) or, worse case scenario, a lawsuit.
In my case, I was under another contract: my agent. He found the job for me and negotiated all the icky compensation stuff I HATE. I paid him a percentage of my paycheck each month for the services. I worked with him for 4.5 years and I truly felt he always had my back. Agents are a very polarizing topic in the TV news industry, but I never had complaints about my agent. I had a good one.
Dear Universe, I am free of contracts that define and bind me.
My relationships with each news station over my career were vastly different, but my first station set the stage for my crippling anxiety over employment contracts.
(Something about being stuck in the Wild West in a outrageously toxic work environment will do that to you.)
Truthfully, things did get better after that sentence. I never felt trapped in Palm Springs. I never felt suffocated in Hartford. But, I was still obligated to be Sara Sanchez, News Anchor.
What if I wanted to start a podcast? Dye my hair? Have an opinion? Move to Japan? I couldn’t.
Dear Universe, My career is creatively fulfilling.
My contract in Hartford was done in April 2026. My agent worked on a reel of my best work before the new year. It wasn’t great. But not because of his work, but because of mine. I was creatively starved at the anchor desk. They had just added another newscast to my schedule. Pump out more news. Log more hours of content. Hey Pony, do more tricks!
My back ached. My nervous system was shot. My coworker told me she was exhausted when she had to fill in for me (and she doesn’t have two small children to boot!) I have NEVER felt more validated.
Dear Universe, I am in bed at 9pm every night.
When it came time to negotiate a new contract, for them to keep me, it was fairly uneventful. There was the typical offer for a bump in pay. Two years. Nothing remarkable. All of the conversations were handled by my agent.
The station ownership is going through its own changes outside me. I was a hot spot. The woods are on fire.
They did try to keep me through the summer, but I couldn’t imagine another Fourth of July stuck inside an empty newsroom hearing the sounds of firecrackers and watching the Hartford skyline light up without me.
Of course there was much more that went into my decision to leave news entirely, but this is the story of my last attempt to stay. It was half assed. Maybe the Universe was on my side.
I was deeply scared to tell everyone I was leaving: from my agent to my news director to my family. It felt amazing to walk away from every single conversation saying the secret out loud. I was telling the Universe my intentions in rooms full of strangers. Everyone else just had to catch up.
January 5, 2026
The day after our manifestation workshop. I think I manifested these boots.